Sidebar...these ladies absolutely KILLED this tribute to Anita Baker. They sang all of my fav Anita songs. I was JAMMIN. Anita is a legend and this tribute really shows that. The artists who performed (Chrisette Michelle, Tamia, Faith Evans, Kem, Rachelle Farrell, Lalah Hathaway, Goapele, Dionne Farris) did all of her songs absolute justice. The performances made me want to watch it over and over and over again. If you love good music, I know you will love this tribute. Enjoy it over and over again-azureDizzle

I hope ya'll had a very Happy and Fat Thanksgiving and enjoyed time with your family and friends. As you know today is "Black Friday" and I'm sure a lot of you were out early this morning, hitting the stores, waiting in line and elbowing people for that dirt cheap 40 inch flat screens. Now that we are getting older, our Christmas lists have dramatically changed. No longer are we making that 10 item Christmas list and writing "To: Santa" up top, in hopes that Santa will grant our Christmas wishes. Reality has set in. It actually set in a LONG time ago. Now, we are not really expecting any thing, not even from our parents. We "hope" our parents will be gracious to us and pop up with that awesome gift. But for those of us, who are still making that Christmas list (even if we are going to be the ones that buy it...for ourselves), here is a quick list of what "Grown Folks" are asking for these days.

1) Electronics: Now we know the fellas have always had the electronics on their list. But most of us ladies, my self included, have not always had them at the top of our list. Especially if you are in school or even if you are working and need things to get your mind off of work. Check out the Electronic Readers if you like to read or need an easier way to carry your outlines and junk for class. Check out the Amazon Kindle or Barnes and Noble Nook. I love to read and if you do to, I'm sure you will love these. Even though I feel like there is nothing like a good ol' library book, I guess I need to get hip with the 20th century right?

2) Homegoods: A lot of us have our own apartments and like for them to look nice. You know, like the apartments in the Homegoods magazine. Fully furnished and decorated with expensive art on the walls. Well not all of us are ballers, but Im sure most of us would like nice paintings or center-pieces that will give our apartment (or house) that pop that will brighten up the whole room. Check out Target or HomeGoods/Marshalls for nice paintings and other home goods items that will set your apartment on fire (not literally of course). Plus who doesn't need a tea pot...cause I do.

3) Perfume: Grown Folks like perfume....period. Haha. Well if you are shopping for yourself, your boo, your lady, check out the perfume aisle. Plenty of celebs have released new perfumes lately. Check out Beyonce 'Heat', Diddy's 'Unforgivabe' (for him), Coco Chanel 'Mademoiselle' (my fave). Ask the perfume lady and tell her what you are looking for. I'm sure you will find the perfect gift.

4) Handbags: I mean does this really need an explanation?? Look for colors that POP. Large satchel bags and cross-body's are in. You will be hot for new years with your bomb.com bag.

5) Money!!!! I mean. What can't you use money for?? Best gift ever invented.

Remember this season what the holdiays are actually about. Even if you are not giving gifts this year, a nice Christmas card always brightened up someones holiday. Happy Shopping- azureDizzle

Sidebar...ya'll need to check out this hot fire new blog!!! www.fancyayancey.com Follow Fancy A. Yancey through her daily "random musings" about life, work, relationships and self-reflection. She has creative postings about topics that EVERYONE can relate to. She is smart, funny, reflective, hard-working and of course my sands!!! OOOO-OOOP to Yancey. I love her blog and I KNOW you will too.-azureDizzle

Hellooooo Sidebar! I have missed you all!

Now that the weather is changing and it gets dark at 4PM (EST)...it's about that time for me to make a change too...

I've been stressing over the same guy for most of this year and altough we had some good times together, he has officially been DELETED! For me, if there is no trace of him anywhere in my phone, he can be out of sight, out of mind, and therefore, a part of my past. Granted there are some lingering feelings but there's no switch to turn that off (IF ONLY!). I've beat my brain to death trying to figure out where it went wrong and what happened, only to realize, I don't think I care anymore. So with that said...I must do what every girl does when she closes a chapter in her life...changes whatever she has control of changing! (hair, body, home decor, etc.)

I started with getting a new tattoo. A small star on my wrist that I've been drawing on myself for the past 80 years, claiming I was going to get it one day. That day came and I was a 'G' about it! Unlike my first tattoo, located on my foot, I didn't need anyone to hold my hand, nor did I have to use the restroom in fear of peeing on myself...can we say GROWN UP?! **patting myself on the back**

Next move to make...I plan on coloring my hair for the first time! (Even though YBreyn doesn't believe me) I will NOT punk out, I promise. Nothing too drastic but it will be a different look. I'm getting too bored with my hair, so again, it's time for a CHANGE.

Another move I would like to make, is just that...MOVE! I've been stuck in one place basically my whole life and I think it's time to branch out. The same ol scenes just aren't doing it for me anymore. An adventure is calling my name so I must answer. I've already started applying for jobs outside of the city, and mostly outside the state. Gotta start there. Don't wanna be broke or homeless on this new adventure, that's for sure! I refuse to settle for standing still when a new path can be built. Until now, I've just been too scared to leave what is my safety net. I've watched most of my friends take on new challenges and admire their strength. Now it's my turn. Forget the fear of the unknown and leap head first!

Sidebar: It would be great if my life was like one of those movies where the woman finally makes that scary move and it is all worth it! She gets her new fabulous job, which pays WELL, bringing on a new wardrobe, a chic new haircut, a personal trainer causing her to drop 80 pounds in a week, who in turn introduces her to his best friend, Mr. Right...after months of living the good life, she runs into the guy who was the root of all these changes, where she is shocked to hear him thank her for helping him see who he really is. She asks, "How did I do that?" He replies by saying, "I want to introduce you to Michael, my life partner..."

Welcome back Sidebar readers! -- KscaY

Spotlight today is on the American Music Awards 2010...did anyone watch it?? Well I almost forgot but I caught it just in time. I only have a couple observations from the show:

1) P.Diddy/ Puffy/ Diddy/ Sean P.Diddy Combs or whatever he is calling himself now a days LOVES HIMSELF and that part had to GO!!!

2) I loved seeing the Backstreet Boys...I am a product of the Boy Band Revolution and it was awesome seeing them together again. Now they didn't sound the same...but I was happy that they were singing and dancing again..and not on drugs.

3) New Kids need to give it up...they were one of the first Super Boy bands to come out besides New Edition...and you dont see New Edition coming back for a reunion do you? New Kids...your moment has passed. Time to give it up and let the young cats step in. Plus they sounded awful and just couldnt keep up with the dance moves. but hey, they tried i guess.

4) Nikki Menage is...INTERESTING. That's the only descriptive word I could think of.

5) I love Christina and Pink!!!!

Those are my thoughts...what were yours??- azureDizzle

Have you ever been so frustrated and overwhelmed that even the little things will make you break down?? Like all these waves are crashing in on you??? Well it happened to me today...the energy company cut my electricity cold off this morning. A reasonable prudent person in my situation would say "Oh no big deal. It's a mistake. They will fix it". Well since, @ this point in my life, I am NOT a reasonable prudent person, and have been dealing with this company for 4 months I was at my wits end. Plus the fact that I still am dealing with classes and studying for finals and dealing with boo # 1 (thats a story all in itself) this stupid energy crisis was more than I can handle. Im feeling a little better now but I just need a moment to myself...to compose myself. You know...take a breath. Ahhh. I still have a full day of classes. So hopefully tonight I can get my life together. Pray for me yall. -azureDizzle

Sidebar...so you remember when I was complaining and complaining about how much I hated post-graduate life and how much I wanted to go back to school?? Yes?? Well I got what I asked for...Im in law school and it is seriously tough. Now I am getting ready for finals and I feel uber overwhelmed. It feels like I have so much to do but so little time to do it. And really all I want to do is go to sleep. I would love nothing more than to go home and lay on my futon, watch SVU and drink some good ol' tea. lol. But I can't. However, can I really complain for real?? This is what I wanted right?? I need to keep my goal in mind...in 3 years I WILL pass the bar, get a good job with the DAs office in NYC, get my red convertible VW Beetle and my rott, live in a loft apt in Manhattan, and go shopping when I feel like it. "I just close my eyes and DREAM"-Glen Lewis.- azureDizzle

Life is crazy isn't it??? How things can change so quickly and priorities change. Basically this is what happened with Sidebar. We are not making any excuses but law school, work, moving etc between us has taken over and Sidebar has run by the way-side. We still love yall tho and havn't totally forgot about you. We will be picking back up and giving you more attention. This is our resolution to you, our followers and readers. I know you've missed us and we've missed you too. So keep us in your hearts and minds and get ready for some new posts.- azureDizze, Kscay and Brie-Z

How would you feel if your spouse was sending inappropiate messages to someone in their office...?? Pissed right?! Anyone would be, but let me ask, can married people have platonic friendships with the opposite sex? Is that a big no-no when it comes to being married??

I've come to the conclusion that being friends with some guys I guess can be misleading because for some reason I've had two married men at my job who think it's all good to say things like, "When you findin' a man?," "You are too pretty to date any bums, and I mean that," and "You're being bad today...when's the last time you've been spanked??"

Sidebar: You do realize that every company has an IT department that can pull up any history on anyone's computer to see messages like that? That spanking comment...yeah they saw that, and hopefully sent that to your wife!

To receive those messages, I, of course, look at myself and ask what kind of messages am I sending to give them that impression that talking to me like that is ok? Laughing and joking with a person does not mean that you are interested in trying to date somebody. That just means hey, we have the same sense of humor! Great! I don't want anything else from you. Has it really come down to where you can't be nice to people anymore without them getting the wrong idea? Does someone always have to take it to the next level or can those platonic friendships exist??

I think the craziest part for my work escapades is that one of the married men's wife works in our same department! Does she know you wanted me to come work out with you...at your home gym?! C'mon son! I wish my husband would bring some chick home fro mjis job and say, "Oh, we are gonna go work out downstairs..." I'm sorry, what? It sounds like you said you want your stuff outside in the front lawn by time you get done with your workout, let me know if I misunderstood you....

Believe me when I say, our "friendship" is not that important to me, so go ahead and keep those comments to yourself, save face please! And NO, I'm not cooking for you, so stop asking!!

Do men really wonder why women don't trust them...?? I'm just sayin... -- KscaY

Sexy men alert!! Sexy men alert!! Ladies, If that doesn't get your attention I don't know what would. This new action film coming out in august entitled "Takers" has a cast full of sexy men and honestly I don't know the last time when so many sexy men have been in a film together. This movie can be seen as your typical cops and robbers film reinvented with the hottest actors out today. Im sure you and your man friend will throughly enjoy watching this movie...though Im sure for different reasons.-azureDizzle

Sidebar...so as you well know tonight is game 4 of the NBA Finals between the LA Lakers and Boston Celtics and if you're a guy I'm sure you have been glued to the tv from the beginning of the playoffs. It seems to me that guys are molded to be natural sports fans from an early age. Women not so much. So what is it that keeps us women glued to the tv along with the guys during big games like this?? We at sidebar have come up with the reasons (these are geared specifically for the playoffs but of course could be applied to any sport)

1) Reason number one is that we women love to watch sweaty athletic men run around on the court. What woman doesn't like to watch sexy men with strong muscular arms and legs run around and chest bump and slap each other on the ass?? I mean you must be crazy if you don't like that.

2) Reason number two, we like to be around our significant other (of which I do not have). However, or those of us women who are taken or involved with someone, I'm sure you like to spend time with your man. And what better way to spend time with him than during the finals. Now I know he probably wont be paying you much attention but it is a time to just be around him. And for most women, these are the times that we appreciate.

3) Reason number 3, we have a crush on a certain player that is playing in the big game. I know every woman has watched a game and was like "oh damn who's # whatever...he is FINE!!!!". And you thus proceeded to watch that team just because of that player. And if you say you haven't, no one will believe you because we all do it. No need to front.

4) Reason number four, we may actually be sports fans. I know this sounds crazy but there are some of these women that exist. Its rare, but they do exist.

So if you're a guy reading this, just know that if you invite a woman to watch a game with you, she will be doing so based on one or all of these reasons. I hope this answers any questions about women and sports. Until next time.-azureDizzle

Its summer time yall, and there are a plethora of events and activities to partake in this summer especially in Columbus. Even if you don't live in Columbus, you may get some ideas of things to do where you live. This is what I love about summer, you can always find something to do. Sidebar would like to give you some ideas on what to get into this summer with friends or even on that hot date you've been planing (wink wink). This weekend will be the Park Street Festival, June 10-12. This local festival is located in the Arena District along Park Street. Grab a drink or drank and some food from the vendors and restaurants along the street. There will also be great live music and other fun activities such as a mechanical bull (FUN!!!). We will keep you updated with other events going on this summer. This is no way you can be bored this summer, no way. Also check out your local paper for other events that may interest you. See you at the festival

Who said that people should work 8 hours a day?! I'm still employed at the same grueling job that I've continued to gripe about for at least the past year and change does not seem to be near. My position here has changed to where I only want to pull my hair out once a week versus everyday. Hooray! Sounds like great progress huh? Its amazing how many people feel trapped in this job and that everyone if looking for an out...

I recently had a job interview for a new job, still in the banking industry, but is it wrong that I'm rethinking how bad I actually want this position? Here's the story...I have had two interviews with this company, the first went great! I liked the manager, she was friendly and explained the position and atmosphere in a great light. After leaving the interview, I found myself excited about the new opportunity presenting itself. I was supposed to receive word about whether or not they would hire me in a week. I waited...and waited...My interview was originally on a Friday and by time the next Friday rolled around I hadn't heard anything. That next Tuesday, I gave them a call only to leave a message that did not get returned. The next day, Wednesday, I heard from the HR recruiter. She told me that the location I interviewed for had gotten a new manager and that this new manager wanted to speak with me about the position, so we scheduled another interview. Ok so, I wasn't getting blown off...yay! I go to this second interview on Friday and I was very optimistic. I meet the new manager and this woman brought a whole new demeanor. She was friendly, yet very down to business and numbers driven. Some of her questions caught me off guard, not understanding why she was asking them or really what answer she was looking for. When discussing the move from phones to face to face communication, I told her how I considered myself to be a "people person" and preferred face to face communication. She proceeds to ask, "Well then why did you take the position you have now?" Uhhh...I NEEDED A JOB! How am I supposed to answer that question? I was out of college not even 6 months at the time, I was only working part-time, and this job offered full-time hours AND benefits...as bad as the economy was (still is), I couldn't turn it down! I don't understand why that was relevant information or how that proves how qualified I am for this position. When I explained how I saw a growth opportunity at this company, she then asks, "You haven't found any other opportunities with your current job?" Well if you must know, I've applied for several positions only to not hear back from about 98% of them, which basically takes a hit to my confidence level, making me feel like I'm not good enough...is that the answer you wanted? What about being happy that I want to join your company? What about asking me questions about how the position at hand? No? You don't want to ask those questions? Again, another question that I don't think matters for this interview. She also wanted to ask me about goals that I had to meet at my current position with sales. Sounds like a relevant enough question...Oh, you want actual numbers? Like you really want to know how many products I had to sell in a month and what my average handle time was for my calls? I did mention I haven't been on the phone in months right, so whatever figure I throw at you are going to be completely made up!? Come on lady!

Sidebar: Your bland personality is making me wonder how the staff is taking to you? I bet this environment will change shortly, possibly causing unhappy employees. I'm unhappy and I don't even work for you! And FYI: interviews are not only for a manager to get to know a potential employee, but also for the potential employee to get a feel for how the company operates. Shouldn't a manager want to make a good impression for themselves and the company? Just a thought....

Realizing that I'm not excited about the position or the woman I would be working for, do I take the job if it is offered just to get out of my current situation? Would it all be worth it to go into a new job knowing that the manager has already rubbed me the wrong way? It would be a step up, as well as a raise. Sounds like this might be a lose-lose situation... -- KscaY

Sidebar...so you remember my last relationship post right?? ( I know its been awhile) But if you don't remember, Ill give you the abridged version. My "boyfriend" just stopped calling, or answering calls or texts as a way of "breaking up" with me, without giving me an explanation why. Awful right?? Well I finally heard from him and of course he couldn't give me a valid explanation to his actions, all he gave me was of course Excuses, including but not limited to that he found it hard to communicate with me how he was feeling and that he wasn't ready for a relationship. (But did I mention that he is currently in a relationship with the girl that he was essentially cheating on me with???) This eventual communication came about an the random, with him making brief attempts of contact through text messages and facebook. He apologized for what happened and admitted that what he did was wrong. He says he hopes we could stay in contact and maybe even get together before I leave for law school. My first reaction was of course a straight "hell no". However the question has popped into my head, should I accept his apology and let the past be the past? I honestly find it hard to forgive him just yet because I am honestly still pissed off about the entire situation. I received an awesome message from my sands that talked about forgiveness. It said "...when we choose to forgive, we open our hearts so we can receive Gods forgiveness and allow His love to flow freely through us...people will let you down, they will hurt you and they will disappoint you.Dont let the actions of others block your relationship with the Father by holding unforgiveness" This really hit a soft point with me because I truly believe in the power of forgiveness and yet I am sooo not ready to forgive my ex just yet. Its a complicated emotion. However I do believe that I will be able to forgive, just not now...is that bad? Am I justified in feeling this way? Will God give me a pass for a little bit to be mad? We'll see I guess..azureDizzle

On behalf of the Sidebar crew, I would like to say that we greatly apologize for neglecting you for so long. Its been nearly 2 months since our last post. A lot of things have been going on in our lives and we have neglected to share those things with you our readers. Im making this pledge to you that we will no longer leave you hanging for so long. I know you have been waiting patiently for us to get it together. And to ease your mind, Im letting you know that we are back in action and there will be new and juicy blogs posts to come. With love, Sidebar