Sidebar...is it that time of the year that guys just start acting crazy??? I have no clue what has been getting into guys lately. I've been hearing some crazy stories about guys doing some mad shady stuff and I'm starting to think that it is something in the air. Even my "semi-boo" has been trying to act up lately. I'm making changes in the new year. If you're not all about me than I'll find someone who is. This is my mantra for 2011 when it comes to relationships. No more are the days where I will be all about the guy and I'm only a second or third thought. I'm trying to be first. I'm too much of a good catch to be on the back burner. I'm hoping my friends will jump on this with me. My friends are bomb.com and are too good to be waiting for a guy to come around. Like my sands told me...I will not make you a priority, if to you I am only an option. Let's get it girls...who's with me???-azureDizzle

Its almost Christmas time!!! I hope you have all your Christmas shopping finsihed!! If you're like me...I havn't even started. Sad I know. But don't fret. I will be good and ready by Christmas day. Don't forget during this holiday season what the holidays are truly about. Us girls at Sidebar wish you a wonderful and safe Christmas and a Happy Happy New Year!!!- azureDizzle

Hello folks...hope you're having a good hair day!! Like I promised last trip to the salon, I tested out the "twist out", inspired by the Mop Top Maven (www.themoptopmaven.com). I think it went well over all. Here was my step by step process...


I used mostly Paul Mitchell products. I used Paul Mitchell (PM) Clarifying shampoo to get all the nastiness out of my hair before I used PM Tea Tree Lavender Mint Moisturizing Shampoo. Clarifying your hair once a week is good, so that you can make sure you don't have any built up residue and so that your hair can be better moisturized from the shampoo and conditioner. I made sure I dangled my hair with the conditioner in. It makes it 10 times easier after shampooing to keep your hair dangled.


This is what my hair looks like after shampooing, conditioning and detangling. A little scary. lol


I made a part on the side so that I can have a little swoopage (you can also part your hair down the middle). Some people start from the back and work their way up with the twists. I like to see what I'm doing and it is a little easier for me to start on the side. But whatever works best for you. Part out a section and clip the rest of the hair up. I used PM Volumizing Sculpting Foam to twist my hair. Usually I use the regular sculpting foam by PM, but I wanted to try the volumizer just to see if it will make any difference. The only difference was that the volumizing sculpting foam made my twists hard at the ends which I didn't like. But, when I took the twists out my curls were still soft. So it is up to you whether you care if your twists are a little hard or not. I twisted the hair with a generous amount of the sculpting foam. You actually dont need a lot of foam for each section. I used quite a bit in the picture (ooops).


I usually make my twists pretty small because I keep it twisted for a couple days before I take them out. This time I made them a little bigger. But you can even make them bigger than this. Play with the sizes till you find one that works best for you. Another tip is try your best to make the 2 parts of the twists even so that they stay together better. You don't want to have one skinny part and one fat part and try to twist them together. It doesn't work too well. Sometimes I have to use a sponge roller on the twists (mostly in the front) so that the twists stay together and so that the ends are cured when I take out the twists. It all depends on how your twists curl at the end. When you take out the twists you don't want straight ends. You want everything to be curly.


Here is the finished twisted look. I took the rollers out a little too fast, so as you can see the ends are straight. Next time I'm going to keep the rollers in longer.


To take out the twists I use my fave product ever in life: Bio Silk silk therapy. I use about a dime sized amount and rub it all through the twists. Make sure you get the ends too so that they don't get frizzy. I took out the twists and separated the pieces to create fullness. I fluffed and shaped and was ready to go. (if you have a small small curling iron you can curl the ends if they are straight. That's what I had to do. But if you use rollers and the ends are already curled you shouldn't have to use the curling iron).

Let me know what you think about the process. What products do you like to use to do a twist out? What techniques to do use? Please share!!! I love to learn new things.-azureDizzle

There hasn't been a Sidebar Salon in a long time but I know Brie-Z did one on natural hair a while ago so I'm going to piggy back off of her. Well a lot of my close friends have been "going natural" and I myself have joined the ranks. I haven't had a relaxer in about a year and a half. It wasn't really a conscious effort. I just didn't get one for a while because I really didn't need one...and everything kind of fell into place from there (lucky I know). But now that I am natural I have been paying more and more attention to what others have been doing with their natural hair. Brie-Z has been natural for a long time and I have gotten many tips from her. My sands Jasmine has been natural for a long time too. She was one of the first people who told me about certain products for natural hair like Miss Jessie's. My distant sands A.Yancey (www.fancyayancey.com) has also gone natural and she has given me some awesome hair tips too. My bestest Ruth and my friend Tess have also joined the ranks of the "natural hair army".

Recently, my bestest told me about "the MopTop Maven" and I checked out her blog and channel on YouTube (www.themoptopmaven.com. She has wonderful video that shows her 'hair journey" that shows her journey from relaxed hair to natural hair. I love discovering new things to do with my hair but my only dilemma is TIME. As a law school student I do not have 2 hours to devote to my hair so I try to do as little as possible to my hair, so that I save time and still look bomb.com. I looked at a couple of the tutorials that The MopTop Maven has made and I love the things she is doing with her hair. She has tutorials on "twist outs", "braid outs" and much more. The products she uses seem amazing. I have been doing twists in my hair lately and I like them a lot. One because they are low maintenance. Two because they are funky and cute. Once I twist them, I don't have to do Anything to my hair for a week (except maybe re-twist a couple. The picture above is from the first time I twisted my hair. All I did was wash and condition it in the shower. Then comb it out. Then I sectioned it off and used Paul Mitchell Sculpting Foam (LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS STUFF) and twisted each piece. With it wet, the twists stay together better so I make sure I have a spray bottle with water in it. After about a week I usually take out the twists but by then its time for me to wash my hair again. I'm going to keep you all posted on new things that I discover. Im going to do a twist out and try the new tricks that I learned from the Mop Top Maven. Those of you who know me know that I love Paul Mitchell products and I swear by all his stuff. Like seriously, Paul can do no wrong in my book. Im going to branch out a little bit and use some of his products that I have not used before and used the Mop Top Mavens tricks. I am a creature of habit and don't stray far from known territory. But I'm going to try it for the greater good. I will let yall know how it goes. Wish me luck. - azureDizzle

PS: What products do YOU love for your natural hair??? Share, share, share!!!! Please, please, please!!!

So it is about that time...holiday party season. In recent years, I have not been one to frequent any holiday parties. But now that I'm getting older, they are becoming more and more of an occurrence. I've been looking at all the fashion magazines, trying to find the perfect dress for that perfect price that I would wear to the perfect holiday party with that perfect guy and I have seen a couple winners. Now I am a full time law student living on student loans so my funds are definently low....and when I say low i mean LOW. And because of this, I have to lower my standards and chose places to shop that I wouldn't normally shop. And surprisingly I have found some really cute dresses for a really low price. I looked at JCPenny, Kohls and even WalMart. I know what you're thinking, WALMART?? Yes girls, WalMart. They had some really cute boyfriend blazers and dresses that you could style up with some cute shoes and accessories to make the perfect holiday party outfit. And you know that a lot of high end designers have been making collections for these stores, like Charlotte Ronson for JCPenny. Check out these stores and let me know what you find. I will continue to update you on my "holiday-party-outfit-search" and "perfect-new-years-dress-that-will-make-his-bottom-lip-drop search" lol. So stay tuned.-azureDizzle

Sidebar....so tonight is the first game between the Cleveland Cavs and Miami Heat after Lebron James ditched the Caves for the Heat. Now Im from Columbus but I know A LOT of people from Cleveland and I know they felt some type of way (mainly angry and suicidal) that Lebron left earlier this year. There were some TRUE Cavs fans, who were really hurt at the way Lebron left. While others...transferred their love for the Cavs to the Heat. These people are of course greatly shunned by the Cleveland community. Twitter and Facebook have been jumping today, with predictions whether the Cavs or the Heat will win, how Lebron will perform and whether Lebron is a punk for needing extra security. Now, I don't personally think he's a punk...Cleveland people are crazy and I wouldn't put it past them to try to commit a battery or something. All I know is that this will definitely be a major game. In fact, the game is so big, President Obama even commented about it. Now when the president is paying attention, with all the things he has to deal with (like million trillion billion dollar debts), IT IS MAJOR. Im excited to see what happens. Let me know what you think!! -azureDizzle

PS...IF the Cavs lose...DO NOT CALL ANYONE you know from Cleveland. That's how people lose friendships.

Sidebar...these ladies absolutely KILLED this tribute to Anita Baker. They sang all of my fav Anita songs. I was JAMMIN. Anita is a legend and this tribute really shows that. The artists who performed (Chrisette Michelle, Tamia, Faith Evans, Kem, Rachelle Farrell, Lalah Hathaway, Goapele, Dionne Farris) did all of her songs absolute justice. The performances made me want to watch it over and over and over again. If you love good music, I know you will love this tribute. Enjoy it over and over again-azureDizzle

I hope ya'll had a very Happy and Fat Thanksgiving and enjoyed time with your family and friends. As you know today is "Black Friday" and I'm sure a lot of you were out early this morning, hitting the stores, waiting in line and elbowing people for that dirt cheap 40 inch flat screens. Now that we are getting older, our Christmas lists have dramatically changed. No longer are we making that 10 item Christmas list and writing "To: Santa" up top, in hopes that Santa will grant our Christmas wishes. Reality has set in. It actually set in a LONG time ago. Now, we are not really expecting any thing, not even from our parents. We "hope" our parents will be gracious to us and pop up with that awesome gift. But for those of us, who are still making that Christmas list (even if we are going to be the ones that buy it...for ourselves), here is a quick list of what "Grown Folks" are asking for these days.

1) Electronics: Now we know the fellas have always had the electronics on their list. But most of us ladies, my self included, have not always had them at the top of our list. Especially if you are in school or even if you are working and need things to get your mind off of work. Check out the Electronic Readers if you like to read or need an easier way to carry your outlines and junk for class. Check out the Amazon Kindle or Barnes and Noble Nook. I love to read and if you do to, I'm sure you will love these. Even though I feel like there is nothing like a good ol' library book, I guess I need to get hip with the 20th century right?

2) Homegoods: A lot of us have our own apartments and like for them to look nice. You know, like the apartments in the Homegoods magazine. Fully furnished and decorated with expensive art on the walls. Well not all of us are ballers, but Im sure most of us would like nice paintings or center-pieces that will give our apartment (or house) that pop that will brighten up the whole room. Check out Target or HomeGoods/Marshalls for nice paintings and other home goods items that will set your apartment on fire (not literally of course). Plus who doesn't need a tea pot...cause I do.

3) Perfume: Grown Folks like perfume....period. Haha. Well if you are shopping for yourself, your boo, your lady, check out the perfume aisle. Plenty of celebs have released new perfumes lately. Check out Beyonce 'Heat', Diddy's 'Unforgivabe' (for him), Coco Chanel 'Mademoiselle' (my fave). Ask the perfume lady and tell her what you are looking for. I'm sure you will find the perfect gift.

4) Handbags: I mean does this really need an explanation?? Look for colors that POP. Large satchel bags and cross-body's are in. You will be hot for new years with your bomb.com bag.

5) Money!!!! I mean. What can't you use money for?? Best gift ever invented.

Remember this season what the holdiays are actually about. Even if you are not giving gifts this year, a nice Christmas card always brightened up someones holiday. Happy Shopping- azureDizzle

Sidebar...ya'll need to check out this hot fire new blog!!! www.fancyayancey.com Follow Fancy A. Yancey through her daily "random musings" about life, work, relationships and self-reflection. She has creative postings about topics that EVERYONE can relate to. She is smart, funny, reflective, hard-working and of course my sands!!! OOOO-OOOP to Yancey. I love her blog and I KNOW you will too.-azureDizzle

Hellooooo Sidebar! I have missed you all!

Now that the weather is changing and it gets dark at 4PM (EST)...it's about that time for me to make a change too...

I've been stressing over the same guy for most of this year and altough we had some good times together, he has officially been DELETED! For me, if there is no trace of him anywhere in my phone, he can be out of sight, out of mind, and therefore, a part of my past. Granted there are some lingering feelings but there's no switch to turn that off (IF ONLY!). I've beat my brain to death trying to figure out where it went wrong and what happened, only to realize, I don't think I care anymore. So with that said...I must do what every girl does when she closes a chapter in her life...changes whatever she has control of changing! (hair, body, home decor, etc.)

I started with getting a new tattoo. A small star on my wrist that I've been drawing on myself for the past 80 years, claiming I was going to get it one day. That day came and I was a 'G' about it! Unlike my first tattoo, located on my foot, I didn't need anyone to hold my hand, nor did I have to use the restroom in fear of peeing on myself...can we say GROWN UP?! **patting myself on the back**

Next move to make...I plan on coloring my hair for the first time! (Even though YBreyn doesn't believe me) I will NOT punk out, I promise. Nothing too drastic but it will be a different look. I'm getting too bored with my hair, so again, it's time for a CHANGE.

Another move I would like to make, is just that...MOVE! I've been stuck in one place basically my whole life and I think it's time to branch out. The same ol scenes just aren't doing it for me anymore. An adventure is calling my name so I must answer. I've already started applying for jobs outside of the city, and mostly outside the state. Gotta start there. Don't wanna be broke or homeless on this new adventure, that's for sure! I refuse to settle for standing still when a new path can be built. Until now, I've just been too scared to leave what is my safety net. I've watched most of my friends take on new challenges and admire their strength. Now it's my turn. Forget the fear of the unknown and leap head first!

Sidebar: It would be great if my life was like one of those movies where the woman finally makes that scary move and it is all worth it! She gets her new fabulous job, which pays WELL, bringing on a new wardrobe, a chic new haircut, a personal trainer causing her to drop 80 pounds in a week, who in turn introduces her to his best friend, Mr. Right...after months of living the good life, she runs into the guy who was the root of all these changes, where she is shocked to hear him thank her for helping him see who he really is. She asks, "How did I do that?" He replies by saying, "I want to introduce you to Michael, my life partner..."

Welcome back Sidebar readers! -- KscaY

Spotlight today is on the American Music Awards 2010...did anyone watch it?? Well I almost forgot but I caught it just in time. I only have a couple observations from the show:

1) P.Diddy/ Puffy/ Diddy/ Sean P.Diddy Combs or whatever he is calling himself now a days LOVES HIMSELF and that part had to GO!!!

2) I loved seeing the Backstreet Boys...I am a product of the Boy Band Revolution and it was awesome seeing them together again. Now they didn't sound the same...but I was happy that they were singing and dancing again..and not on drugs.

3) New Kids need to give it up...they were one of the first Super Boy bands to come out besides New Edition...and you dont see New Edition coming back for a reunion do you? New Kids...your moment has passed. Time to give it up and let the young cats step in. Plus they sounded awful and just couldnt keep up with the dance moves. but hey, they tried i guess.

4) Nikki Menage is...INTERESTING. That's the only descriptive word I could think of.

5) I love Christina and Pink!!!!

Those are my thoughts...what were yours??- azureDizzle

Have you ever been so frustrated and overwhelmed that even the little things will make you break down?? Like all these waves are crashing in on you??? Well it happened to me today...the energy company cut my electricity cold off this morning. A reasonable prudent person in my situation would say "Oh no big deal. It's a mistake. They will fix it". Well since, @ this point in my life, I am NOT a reasonable prudent person, and have been dealing with this company for 4 months I was at my wits end. Plus the fact that I still am dealing with classes and studying for finals and dealing with boo # 1 (thats a story all in itself) this stupid energy crisis was more than I can handle. Im feeling a little better now but I just need a moment to myself...to compose myself. You know...take a breath. Ahhh. I still have a full day of classes. So hopefully tonight I can get my life together. Pray for me yall. -azureDizzle

Sidebar...so you remember when I was complaining and complaining about how much I hated post-graduate life and how much I wanted to go back to school?? Yes?? Well I got what I asked for...Im in law school and it is seriously tough. Now I am getting ready for finals and I feel uber overwhelmed. It feels like I have so much to do but so little time to do it. And really all I want to do is go to sleep. I would love nothing more than to go home and lay on my futon, watch SVU and drink some good ol' tea. lol. But I can't. However, can I really complain for real?? This is what I wanted right?? I need to keep my goal in mind...in 3 years I WILL pass the bar, get a good job with the DAs office in NYC, get my red convertible VW Beetle and my rott, live in a loft apt in Manhattan, and go shopping when I feel like it. "I just close my eyes and DREAM"-Glen Lewis.- azureDizzle

Life is crazy isn't it??? How things can change so quickly and priorities change. Basically this is what happened with Sidebar. We are not making any excuses but law school, work, moving etc between us has taken over and Sidebar has run by the way-side. We still love yall tho and havn't totally forgot about you. We will be picking back up and giving you more attention. This is our resolution to you, our followers and readers. I know you've missed us and we've missed you too. So keep us in your hearts and minds and get ready for some new posts.- azureDizze, Kscay and Brie-Z

How would you feel if your spouse was sending inappropiate messages to someone in their office...?? Pissed right?! Anyone would be, but let me ask, can married people have platonic friendships with the opposite sex? Is that a big no-no when it comes to being married??

I've come to the conclusion that being friends with some guys I guess can be misleading because for some reason I've had two married men at my job who think it's all good to say things like, "When you findin' a man?," "You are too pretty to date any bums, and I mean that," and "You're being bad today...when's the last time you've been spanked??"

Sidebar: You do realize that every company has an IT department that can pull up any history on anyone's computer to see messages like that? That spanking comment...yeah they saw that, and hopefully sent that to your wife!

To receive those messages, I, of course, look at myself and ask what kind of messages am I sending to give them that impression that talking to me like that is ok? Laughing and joking with a person does not mean that you are interested in trying to date somebody. That just means hey, we have the same sense of humor! Great! I don't want anything else from you. Has it really come down to where you can't be nice to people anymore without them getting the wrong idea? Does someone always have to take it to the next level or can those platonic friendships exist??

I think the craziest part for my work escapades is that one of the married men's wife works in our same department! Does she know you wanted me to come work out with you...at your home gym?! C'mon son! I wish my husband would bring some chick home fro mjis job and say, "Oh, we are gonna go work out downstairs..." I'm sorry, what? It sounds like you said you want your stuff outside in the front lawn by time you get done with your workout, let me know if I misunderstood you....

Believe me when I say, our "friendship" is not that important to me, so go ahead and keep those comments to yourself, save face please! And NO, I'm not cooking for you, so stop asking!!

Do men really wonder why women don't trust them...?? I'm just sayin... -- KscaY